Daily Prompt - "The Early Years" - Loss of a Mother

"Write Page three of your autobiography"

Hmmmm page three???? Haven't even done page 1 or 2 yet..... How am I suppose to do page 3.... And are we talking in the literal sense or proverbially sense. Either way the previous comment applies. Haven't written literal pages 1 or 2 and all I've got so far is my "past" and my "now"... The future is yet unwritten - it can't be- We don't know what it holds. Only G-d knows the answer to that (and he's not tellin).

I'll do my best to take a page from my earlier years (not sure how what when where) that page fits in).

Just a few months after my 5th birthday, my mother killed herself (yeah, I know, getting off to a morbid start aren't we) via hanging. Till recently I was always under the impression that I had been at a pseudo-gramma's house, but that may not have been the case - But that isn't important to this "story" as I don't consciously remember anything (and can't write about what I only remember sub-consciously.  

I was told, while growing up, that I was sent to live with my Aunt and Uncle for a few months but this fact alludes me. Apparently my mind has shut it out because I remember nothing about living with them (just as I remember nothing of being home when Mom died. Funny thing, the brain.... Funny how it "protects" by shutting out unpleasant memories......  Anyway, apparently this didn't go so well for me and I was sent back home to live with my dad. Now, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for him to raise a young daughter who looked like the spitting image of her mother.

I won't say that I'm over the loss of my mother because, quite frankly, that is IMPOSSIBLE. You never get over a loss of a mother. There were a number of times throughout my life when I'd really begin to miss her (like on my wedding day); But, life goes on.

I have a Facebook page created in dedication to my mother (an Artist & Author) with pictures of her artwork. I have also begun to include information about Depression, PTSD, Suicide, and other related topics. Hopefully, in sharing information, we can become better informed

#DailyPrompt: Imitation is Flattery - Lady Doctors That shouldn't Be

Today's Daily Post Challenge (at least I think it's today's) is based on the "imitation is flattery" idea. Since I just got through Laughing my Frickin Ass off Reading Jodi's blog (Snatch Monster, Muff Mauler and Road Rage. A Rant for all Seasons!) over at JodiAmbroseBlog), I thought  I'd use her for this exercise. {Warning: Watch out for language below - if you have sensitive ears = turn away now} *********************************************************

 
There are some Lady Doctors (and by that I'm not referring to Ladies who become doctors but doctors who specialize in the study and treatment of the parts of the lady's anatomy down in the nether-regions) who just should NOT be allowed anywhere near those parts much less be allowed to practice medicine in that area.

I had one of these such doctors for what was either my first or second (I strongly believe it was my first) of these tortuous visits.  As if I wasn't already a FUCKING wreck with the thought of undressing and lying naked with my legs spread wide in front of a complete stranger (I wasn't the kind of girl who was comfortable with her body and could openly undress in the girl's locker room - I tended to make myself as small as possible ); Not to mention the thought of having that "down-there" area physically examined for the first time, Especially considering my "innocent" state of my body at the time...

So, anyway, the doctor comes in and is instantly gruff and hurried (would you believe this "Lady Doctor" was a female).  She tells me to lie on the examining table, instructing me to put my feet into the stirrups and scoot on down (till my ass felt like it was about to fall of the FUCKING Table)  So here I am legs spread wide, Ass half off the table and she RAMS her FUCKING hand clear up to windpipe (or so it felt that way to me) effectively knocking the DAMN wind out of me.  Needless to say i about came off the table. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! This BITCH Had to be a Women Hater or something.

Somehow, I managed to survive that tortuous Exam from HELL (though how I'll never know).  On my way past the nurses desk I hissed that I never EVER wanted to have that BITCH (I think I did manage to refrain from that particular verbage in public - though my displeasure had to have been transparent) as a doctor again.

Thankfully when I went back the next year, that particular doctor was no longer practicing at that clinic and I was blessed with a wonderfully sweet doctor who was gentle and took her time (but in such a way as to not drag on experience).

Daily Prompt: Race the Clock - (Tweenagers)

It says I'm suppose to set a ten minute timer and then start writing - So, Here Goes..... Ten minutes -

What can I write in ten minutes??? Well if I could pick a single topic perhaps a lot perhaps not. One minute and I still don't have anything solid in mind. Do I write on Fire/EMS stuff (my biggest interest)? Do I write on the fun with having a tweenager (something I had to deal with today)? What?

Well since the tweenager thing is at the forefront of what I've had to deal with lately... We'll go with that one. (And here I am 5 minutes in - 8 minutes to go. (less now)

 I've noticed the past few days that my son has been wanting to sleep a lot (of course staying up late doesn't help, but even when he goes to bed at a half-way decent hour he wants to sleep more and more (haven't noticed the accompanying "eat everything in sight" to growing). In addition he's also been more moody lately and waking up from sleep with outbursts (you know the typical "NO ONE loves me" and the "I wish you weren't here/weren't alive", etc etc etc. He's also been showing some aggression (within normal limits) as well as wanting to posture (I think that's the right term - where he wants to show dominance by his posturing (trying to bring himself up to full height and tower over me). Yep we're into some fun (aka rocky roads) ahead.... And guess what?! The fun is just beginning Teenagerhood is right around the corner. Well okay got a couple years before he becomes age-wise, but somehow I don't think hormones and all that ask about the actual age - Not like there's a magical button that says ohhh ok he turned 13 today time to turn on the switch. So what's in the days to come is anyone's guess. I'm sure those of you with now teenagers or older could give me some insight of what's to come (though I can probably take some guesses) and certainly insight is good and helpful.... But, even then, each child is different. So I guess me and him (my son) will be on this new road together struggling to figure it out.

Daily Prompt: "Last Blog"

If this were to be my last blog what would I write.... Well to start with I'd want to say thank you to all the people who have followed me and thank you for the friendly comments and encouragement; I'd want to say that it has been fun (and a pleasure) to follow the blogs that I've been following and to learn new things along the way. Further I'd want to wish everyone the best in life for health and happiness (okay well maybe happiness is a relative thing - we can't always have everything we want in life). I would want to remind everyone to Stay Safe and to remember our Firefighters, Paramedics, Police Officers, and Soldiers (not just one day in the year, but all days) and to remember all that they have (and continue) to do for us. I guess that is the main stuff that I would want to write if this were to be my last blog. Well that and to ask for people to read the rest of my blogs to see what little tidbits they might glean from my hodge-podge of thoughts and opinions. Blessings to all and Stay Safe :-)

"I was fed up." - Daily Prompt: Connect the Dots

The Daily Prompt, for yesterday, from "The Daily Post" was to take the 3rd full sentence from page 82 of the nearest book and work it into a post. The closest book is the one I'm reading which is Paramadic: On the Front Lines of Medicine by Peter Canning. How easy would it be for Firefighters to do something rash when faced with frustrating events and just say "I was Fed Up" Just getting to the scene can be filled with knuckle biting frustration (heck getting out of the station can be an ordeal. At least 2 different times I've witnessed near accidents in front of a station as trucks were pulling out (and that's ones that happened when I happened to be there), then on the way to the scene they have to deal with idiotic drivers who don't understand the concept of get-out-of-the-way (Case in point is this blog I wrote: Stupid Shit #3... Move Over for Emergency Vehicles about a driver who didn't move out of the way of an Emergency Vehicle and instead stopped right in front of it for a red light. Not to mention that the cars that do move out of the way can go in just about any direction to do so so the driver of EV has to stay alert and on his/her toes. Once on scene, they somehow have to get a line hooked up - not so easy when people decide to park there cars in front of the hydrant ("just for a couple minutes" mind you). If everyday citizens are involved (say at a hotel, residential, or apartment fire) they may very well have to deal with panicky people, running up to them crying & screaming, demanding immediate action while there still donning gear and doing size-up. And now the FUN begins.... Time to get down & dirty in putting out the fire. For the firefighters assigned this could mean entering into a hot, smoke-filled room with visibility of ohhh say hand 2 inches from your face. And did I forget to mention the gear they have on to protect from fire makes them even more hot & sweaty, The mask to give them oxygen to breath while in there plasters to their face. They emerge from the building covered with soot, sweat dripping down there face & neck as if they just got caught in a rain shower, gasping for air..... Makes you wonder why they don't get "fed up" more often. But they continue to do their job Saving Properties, Saving Lives. They don't see themselves as heroes, just "Doing my Job Ma'am" To all the firefighters out there I say THANK YOU and to all the rest I say Give em a break, don't make their job harder than it already is. When they're lights & sirens = move safely out of their way, Don't park in front of hydrants (even for a second), Let them do their job on scene (it may seem to be taking time, but not as long as you think & they can do a whole lot more if they staysafe themselves)