Daily Prompt - "The Early Years" - Loss of a Mother

"Write Page three of your autobiography"

Hmmmm page three???? Haven't even done page 1 or 2 yet..... How am I suppose to do page 3.... And are we talking in the literal sense or proverbially sense. Either way the previous comment applies. Haven't written literal pages 1 or 2 and all I've got so far is my "past" and my "now"... The future is yet unwritten - it can't be- We don't know what it holds. Only G-d knows the answer to that (and he's not tellin).

I'll do my best to take a page from my earlier years (not sure how what when where) that page fits in).

Just a few months after my 5th birthday, my mother killed herself (yeah, I know, getting off to a morbid start aren't we) via hanging. Till recently I was always under the impression that I had been at a pseudo-gramma's house, but that may not have been the case - But that isn't important to this "story" as I don't consciously remember anything (and can't write about what I only remember sub-consciously.  

I was told, while growing up, that I was sent to live with my Aunt and Uncle for a few months but this fact alludes me. Apparently my mind has shut it out because I remember nothing about living with them (just as I remember nothing of being home when Mom died. Funny thing, the brain.... Funny how it "protects" by shutting out unpleasant memories......  Anyway, apparently this didn't go so well for me and I was sent back home to live with my dad. Now, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for him to raise a young daughter who looked like the spitting image of her mother.

I won't say that I'm over the loss of my mother because, quite frankly, that is IMPOSSIBLE. You never get over a loss of a mother. There were a number of times throughout my life when I'd really begin to miss her (like on my wedding day); But, life goes on.

I have a Facebook page created in dedication to my mother (an Artist & Author) with pictures of her artwork. I have also begun to include information about Depression, PTSD, Suicide, and other related topics. Hopefully, in sharing information, we can become better informed

"280" What Does it Mean?

I burrowed this from one of Our24YearAgeGap's posts because I thought it was something that should be shared.

 

********************************************************

People complain all the time that Fire/EMS makes too much and do too little but when they need us they complain we took too long. WTF?! Did you know that 85% of people in my career (nation wide) can not afford to live off just one income? Bet you didn’t. That’s why everyone in my career works 2 or more jobs! Meaning they can’t get off work when they need help, nor can they afford the help they need. I’m an example. I’m one statistic, but I won’t become another…not yet anyway.

Do you know what the number above means? Do you know what it stands for? No? Well read below and find out.  

In 2010, while educating firefighters across the United States, I began to notice through stories and reports about the number of firefighters who had taken their lives. I began to collect reports through a confidential reporting system in late 2010 through Counseling Services for FIre Fighters. After much research and effort, I realized this was a much larger issue than I thought, and expanded by starting Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance. I am now collecting this data through FBHA also. This confidential report can be found on the list at the left “ff suicide report” or at www.csff.info under the tab “FF Suicide Report”. The number on the box above are members who were active or retired firefighters who suffered deaths by their own choice. It should not be conceived as one of weakness but one where they might not have believed they had any other options to relieve their pain. FBHA is dedicated to collecting the most accurate numbers regarding FF suicides and then updates this number as information is confirmed. It is also FBHA’s objective to educate all of our brothers and sisters on suicide prevention through our workshop titled “Saving Those Who Save Others” in hopes to limit this number.  

Regards, B/C Jeff Dill Founder of CSFF & FBHA

Note: Number is from information received from suicides ranging from the years 1880-2012. The total is comprised of 269 FF and 11 EMT/P.

Think about that. Just let that sink in when you think about voting for a tax cut for firefighter/paramedics. And that is JUST firefighter/paramedics. What about the police officers? Or that military?? Those numbers are alarming as well. Some things in this country need to change…congress needs to be put on minimum wage in their comfortable little office and give their pay to the people that work every day for their life, health, and safety.